You Know You're a Democrat When....
- You believe the NY Times and the Washington Post are iconoclasms of great journalism
- You believe that Bart Simpson would be every parents dream if only his community showed him more love, understanding, affection and support..
- Someone says "count your blessings", and you start making a list of government agencies
- You’re against capital punishment but support abortion (and, upon request, can provide documented research material explaining the rationality of the contradiction)
- The bulk of your economic policy conversations start or end with “It’s only fair….”
- You get your nightly news from Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert, or NBC
- You believe that NBC is actually a legitimate "News Station"
- The bulk of your foreign policy conversations start with “I went to get gas and…”
- You are "moved" by the words of a politician
- You favor free speech, except for the ugly words about minorities, the disabled, the poor, "undocumented workers," or endangered species
- You believe the phrase “the glass ceiling” increases the intellectual value of a conversation
- You believe the axis of evil is Bush and his ilk
- You believe Jimmy Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore and Michael Moore is an American hero
- You drive an SUV with a "go green" bumper sticker
- Your answer to every question is "higher taxes" so long as you're not the one paying
- You’ve tried to argue that poverty wouldn’t be an issue if only the rich people would redistribute their wealth
- You’ve tried to argue that global poverty wouldn’t be an issue if only the rich people of America would redistribute their wealth
- You forwarded the email "An Angry American with an Idea" to all your friends and have convinced yourself that it makes perfect sense
- You support PETA and Greenpeace, but still eat beef, fish, lamb, and wear leather garments
- You’ve tried being a vegan at least once and are convinced you experienced enlightenment
- You utter the phrase “There ought to be a law” at least twice a month
- You think Al Gore invented the internet
- You think Al Gore invented blogs too
- You think rich people actually do get richer off people who have no money
- You actually expect to collect Social Security
I only came up with a handful of these and pulled the rest from here and there and around the internet. ;-)
Share 'em if you got 'em!
Labels:
News and Politics
15 comments:
OMG!!! I only have a 12% rating; please don't tell my mother, it would kill her!
Okay, I'll toss one in:
You believe in tolerance of all beliefs, lifestyles and philosophies, so long as they are to the left of center.
Are you sure about these? A lot of them seem to be conservative things. For example, I'd never read anything of the "An Angry American with an Idea" email so I Googled it and only found a reference on a right-wing blog; the only people who say, “there ought to be a law,” are Republicans; and "glass ceiling" is strictly the purview of of Ms. Palin's vocabulary.
Dan says, "A lot of them seem to be conservative things."
You're obviously on drugs. Perhaps some composition of an hallucingenic/brain-fry derivative. I do not condone drug use nor do I abide drug users -- particularly stingy ones who don't share.
You drop $75k at Neiman Marcus in the name of "Real Americans"... oops, my bad! That's the other guys!
When talking about economics, you actually know what you're talking about! :-)
I didn't come up with any of these.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A DEMOCRAT WHEN
& You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
& You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.
& You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.
& You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.
PS. Ireceived the angry american email three times (though not from the same person). Hotmail spam stinks. I'm switching to GMAIL.
If I had $75k to spend, I wouldn't need a reason. I'll happily spend it in the name of Real Americans, fake Americans and democrats.
Craig,
the spotted owl one and "because everyone in Europe does" - so true, so freaking true! Love it.
***
Anon says, "When talking about economics, you actually know what you're talking about!"
and Deanna says,
"BAHAHAHAAAAAA!! That's a FUNNY one. Silly wabbit, TRIX are for KIDS!"
It's a small sample, but Craig is proving my point on the "angry american" email: it's a conservative thing!
Anon - not all democrats understand economics or the economy. It just seems that way because Ds lacking in economic knowledge usually keep quiet; unlike Rs who go into politics to highlight their economic ignorance!
BWAAHAHAHA!!!
Dan, Sorry to burst your shining bubble of victory but I actually received those forwards from my liberal friends. I could have made that more clear. Don't know too many conservatives who would agree with the philosophy of that email. Sorry buddy.
Craig - I think the problem is in the quality of your liberal friends; you need to start hanging out with me! ;-) Feel free to drop by, say a week from this Tuesday. I'll supply the beer, we'll watch a little telie, we'll have a great time!
DLS - you're welcome to come over as well, sweetie.
You Know You're a Democrat When....
Your candidate is going to be the next President of the United States of America!
doh!
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